We went to Madeira for the views, the hikes, the waterfalls. What I didn’t expect was to be attacked by plants. The whole island is basically a botanical ambush. Flowers are everywhere—exploding from walls, dangling off cliffs, sneaking through cracks in the pavement. It’s like nature got bored and said, “Let’s go full maximalist.”

Within an hour of landing, I saw bougainvillea in colors I didn’t know existed. By day two, I was on a first-name basis with at least three species of cactus. By day three, I half expected a fern to ask for my passport.

Even the levada walks—peaceful, scenic trails—felt like jungle expeditions. One path had so many flowers I tripped over my own feet while staring at a tree orchid. No regrets.

Madeira felt like Mother Nature opened her junk drawer of rare plants and said, “Let’s show off.”

In the end, it was a great way to take my mind off of the aching feet, the burning hamstrings and the cramps in my calves. I loved it. The colors, the chaos, the green-on-green. Madeira puts on a great show.